Fartichoke Gratin

Last week I made my first purchase from the awesome organic store in the style of a CSA box that is Olympia Local Foods.

While Olympia Local Foods is quite awesome, my decision to buy Jerusalem Artichokes was much less awesome. I knew nothing about them and figured that were a lot like regular artichokes... wrong.

They are ugly as can be (look a lot like ginger), have absolutely no relation to artichokes (actually more related to sunflowers), and have nothing to do with Jerusalem (some sort of strange lost in translation error). To make things a lot worse, I learned about a special property of their from some other blogs... the fact that they give you wicked gas and are sometimes called "Fartichokes."

Given all of this I was still excited to try and cook with them. They kind of taste like Jicama and certainly have a  similar texture. I decided to follow some other recipes and gave putting them into a gratin a shot. Some other delicious Olympia Local Foods stuff was also included like garlic, yellow onions, and yukon gold potatoes.

Chop it all up.

Stack it, add other stuff, cook.

This didn't taste bad. It didn't taste great either. But one thing stood out in a BIG way... flatulence.

These things give you gas. Not like a toot here and a toot there gas... I'm talking hold your hat with one hand and plug your nose with the other gas.  Bubbling stomach gas. No chance of going into public gas. It was absurd. After having one serving and feeling the effects, the rest of the giant gratin was promptly dismissed into the food waste bin. For that reason I'm not going to bother including a recipe.

Four Loktails Part 1: The Loko Hulk

Is Four Loko not awesomely intoxicating enough for you?

Do you feel trashy drinking out of a 24 ounce can covered in camo?

In case you have that awesome mixture of classy and trashy afflictions, here is the key...

FOUR LOKO MARTINI

Ice
2 parts Orange Blend Four Loko (old version preferred, but not necessary)
1 part Vodka (to make it a little sweeter, use whipped cream vodka)
1/2 part blue curaco
1 lime wedge (optional)

Stir.

Strain.

Garnish with lime wedge.

Enjoy the nice dark green color and the fierce bite. Also, enjoy waking up in a stranger's back yard.

I ate a $27 burger

Yes, I ate a $27 burger. Having a $30 groupon made it a little easier to accept, but it was still outrageous. The price was appropriately equally as absurd as the burger and its list of toppings.

The Neil Everett (kitchen sink) Burger from Gilt Club in Portland, OR.

This burger contains: Sesame Seed bun, fries, onion ring, bacon, foie gras, gouda, fried egg, delicious medium patty of painted hills beef, lettuce, a mystery spiced meat, and sauce. 

I attempted, rather unsuccessfully, to cut it in half to see it from the inside. 

Would I order it again? No.

Was it absolutely worth having once? Hell yes.

Old Crow Fire Sauce

I once tried to make my own hot sauce. It was something like a bunch of jalapenos, garlic and vinegar in a food processor. Let it sit for a while. Strained it and voila: vinegar with a slight kick of heat and some green color. Disappointing at best, gross is probably more accurate though.

I gave it a few years to think about my mistake and I thought that it was finally time to redeem myself. I found a recipe for Whiskey Hot Sauce and made a couple changes. First, go big or go home - habaneros all the way. Second, the woman used a $40 bottle of bourbon for her whiskey and I used some dirty ass Old Crow. Finally, I made a double batch. This was a mistake that was realized once excess liquid started pouring from the food processor and spreading spicy habanero joy to nearly every surface of the kitchen. I cleaned it up and my hands felt like they were on fire for hours afterwards. (Read: don't make a double batch.)

If and when I make it again there are a couple changes (other than making a single batch) I will make. I'll use a little less brown sugar and a little less chipotle pepper. This recipe is a fantastic starting point though.

2 tbsp apple cider vinegar
2 tbsp chipotle peppers in adobo, chopped
1/4 cup habaneros, diced with as many seeds as you want to brave
1/2 cup carrot, peeled and diced
1/2 cup white onion, peeled and diced
1/4 cup bourbon
Juice from 1 lemon
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/4 tsp cumin
1 tbsp salt

Add the vinegar to 1 cup of water and bring it to a boil. Add peppers, carrots, and onions. Simmer on low for 20 minutes.

Add everything else. Stir and simmer for 4 minutes.

Move it to a blender / food processor and puree it up. Let it cool and pour it into bottles. I used an old beaver mustard bottle and an old hot sauce bottle.

Here is some of it on a quesadilla. It's boss... especially if mixed with sour cream.

Valentine's Tuna Mac+Che Casserole

Valentine's Day came and for the first time in the last three years the heart shaped pan was not filled with Eggplant Parmesan. Perhaps not as cute, but there was a pretty tasty meal substituted for it.

I took an award winning southern mac and cheese recipe and loaded it up with some tuna, peas, and onions. It was delicious, and thankfully good on the reheat as I made a shitload of it.

Tuna Mac+Che Casserole

Recipe adapted from here.

1 lb wheat elbow macaroni
1 lb grated sharp cheddar (I used a mixture of Dubliner and extra sharp Tilamook)
1 8 oz package of cream cheese cut into 8 blocks
2 tbsp butter
2 eggs, beaten
2 cans albacore tuna
1 lb frozen peas
1 red onion chopped
salt and pepper to taste
bread crumbs to cover

Get ready to be blown away by the complexity of this recipe.

Cook the macaroni and add the peas for the last 30 seconds to thaw them.

Drain the pasta/peas. Add the pasta and all the rest of the ingredients to a bowl and mix thoroughly (until all the dairy is melted).

Add to a casserole, lightly cover with bread crumbs, put the top on and throw it in the oven for an hour.

BOOM!

Snicker at my Doodle

It was Valentine's Day and Snickerdoodles were being craved.

Luckily, they are quick and easy to make. Quite tasty as well.

Thick, chewy, sweet, and that little cinnamon kick. Couldn't ask for too much more.

Also, the dough was really good. Sampling is recommended if you make a ball that's too big and have to take some out to make it the right size.

Recipe was pulled from here.

Makes 27 cookies + the dough that was eaten before baking

2 3/4 cup flour
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
2 tsp cream of tartar
2 sticks of butter
1 1/2 cups (+ 3 tbsp for later) sugar
2 eggs
2 tbsp sugar

Set the over to 350 degrees.

Sift or otherwise mix all the dry ingredients into a bowl.

Using an electric mixer on med high, cream the butter and sugar. Add eggs and be sure to scrape down the sides so it is properly mixed.

Slow the mixer down to low and add dry ingredients in small batches.

On a plate, mix together the remaining sugar and cinnamon. Take balls of dough that are about 1 - 1.5 inches in diameter and roll them all around, coating them completely.

Cook for 12-15 minutes.

Enjoy.

Washington's Best Burger?

Last week I made my first trip to Pick Quick in Fife for the 2011 season. It was phenomenal as expected.

Last year they were declared by USA today to be the best burger in Washington.

I wrote about it here.

Cream of Broccoli and Edamame Soup with Cheese Croutons

Some time ago there was some deal through Tanga to get the Vegetarian Times magazine for $3/year. Now that I'm about a year into my 3 year subscription, I finally made something. Soup.

It should be noted that the recipe was for Broccoli and Edamame Soup, but when it was finished I wasn't very impressed and had to add a bunch of fattening dairy products.

Original recipe + Dairy = Amazingly good.

1 tbsp olive oil
1 large white onion, chopped
1/4 tsp ground nutmeg
6 cups vegetable broth
3 cups frozen shelled edamame
1 lb broccoli, mostly florets, chopped
3 cloves garlic, minced
3/4 cup sour cream
3/4 cup half and half

1 baguette cut into 1/2 thick slices
Dubliner cheese

Heat up the oil. Add the onions and nutmeg. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Cook it on medium for 10 minutes. Add 1/2 a cup of the veggie broth to get up any seasoning that cooked to the bottom of the pan. Then add the other 5 1/2 cups of stock, broccoli, edamame, and garlic. Bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer for 20 minutes.

While the soup is simmering, toast the bread slices for 5 min or so on each side. Then add a nice slice of cheese over the top. Kick the oven up to broil and take it out when the cheese is crispy on top.

If you've got it, go to town with your immersion blender. If not, blend it in batches in a blender / food processor and transfer it back. Let it cool a bit. Whisk in the sour cream and half and half. Serve it up with the cheese bread.

Bananutella Bread

A couple days ago it was Nutella Day...  I'm not sure why a moderately famous sweet treat is worthy of its own day, but I like the stuff, so why not? I had seen some cool pictures of banana bread swirled with nutella and figured it was worth a shot. The banana cupcakes muffins I made were quite tasty, so I decided to take the same recipe and make it into bread, with some adjustments.

Recipe based on the one from the Martha cupcake book.

3 cups cake flour (not self rising)
1 1/2 tsp baking soda
3/4 tsp baking powder
3/4 tsp salt
2 tsp cinnamon
4 large very ripe bananas
3/4 cup buttermilk
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
3/4 cup unsalted butter @ room temperature
1 1/2 cups packed brown sugar
3 large eggs @ room temperature
1 cup hazelnuts toasted and chopped
3/4 cup nutella

Set your ovens to 350 and grease up two loaf pans.

Mix flour, baking soda, baking powder, baking soda, and salt - set aside

Combine buttermilk, bananas and vanilla in a bowl. Take a fork to it and get the big chunks out. Set this aside as well.

Using an electric mixer on high cream the butter and sugar together until pale and fluffy. Add eggs one at a time, stopping after each to scrape down the sides.

Kick the mixer down to low. Add half the flour, then half the banana mix, the other half of the flour, the other half of the bananas.

Now take approximately 1 cup of the batter and mix it with the nutella in a separate bowl.

Add the hazelnuts to the original batter. Pour it into the two loaf pans.

Take the nutella mixture, pour it over the top and swirl it in. (I didn't do a very good job of this... it might be better to add the nutella mix in the middle and then swirl it.)

Cook 1 hour or  until a toothpick comes out clean.

Quick and Easy Veggie Omelet

Onions, Mushrooms, Tomatoes, Chives, Sharp Cheddar, Eggs and a splash of cream.

Easy. Tasty.